Loss… Or is it, Victory!!!

So it’s about my friend again. Yes the same one. Well if you haven’t read my last blog, you won’t know who I am talking about. Now you get what to do first…: P

She called me. I thought it was yet another beautiful day for her. Every day is a new gift to be unwrapped for the ones in love. Well, I always felt this way, listening to her stories.

Today was different. She was quiet, disturbed, irritable and sad. She didn’t want to talk. Didn’t want to share. Didn’t want to express all her joys and feelings which usually overwhelmed. Off course feelings overwhelmed today too, but they were all dark and black filled with fear, guilt and doubt. Moreover she sounded abandoned, unheard and REJECTED.

I couldn’t really guess what the matter was, but I knew it was something to do with an important person in her life. Well after me, it was HIM who mattered the most to her. Or maybe, he held that first position by now. I didn’t want to know THE WHAT but THE WHY which was troubling her.  

She broke down. I couldn’t believe it was coming so soon for her. I didn’t know acceptance would cost her so much. I didn’t know her trust was really conditioned all this time. Well and I didn’t know her LUCKY DAY would come to her so soon. I wanted to tell her, nothing’s changed; but how could I? I wanted to tell her, stop crying; but I knew that was the right thing for her. She kept weeping and I kept thinking. She was broke and I was angry. She felt like she’s lost it all and I felt like I’ve gained everything back. Our minds contradicted but our hearts confirmed.

I was scared but I showed strength. She was always my solution seeker. Role reversal was difficult. I made the same mistake as HIM. I asked her WHY. WHY did she love him? She couldn’t answer, but my heart didn’t stop talking to my brain. It said… May be her love was about instant gratification or maybe she deserved some gratefulness to love him more each day. May be her love too was conditioned or maybe it was something beyond. Something unsaid, unheard and unexplained. After all, love is all about understanding. May be they couldn’t be thoughtful enough.

“Your past plays a role creating your present and your future.” She had once told me this. They knew all of it but how about applying and understanding each other when required. That’s what matters. Love is about consistency. May be she gave up easy and soon but may be; they both had to be consistent, not just her.

She couldn’t think enough and I couldn’t stop thinking. 

Was it a loss… or yet another VICTORY?

The Known, Unknown… WHY???

Some conversations don’t end, while some; don’t need to. Some questions have no answers, while some; need NONE.

Well you must be wondering what this puzzle is for and what’s with this WHY. Let me explain.

There’s a young girl, about 6 six years old. Her window is bang opposite mine. We shared looks every day until, one day she smiled back to me. J She eagerly looked at me as if she’s waiting for me to break the ice between us. And I did. Her eyes spoke much more than she did. Her expressions were curious and gestures were inviting. Every time I’m at the window I look for her presence; she does the same. Neither did she have a WHY to ask nor did I care about it. I tag this feeling between us as LOVE. May be temporary, may be far – fetched, may be something which would be forgotten soon, BUT would still stay alive somewhere for life.

I am a teacher and have kids all around all the time. I built a special connect with one of my children over the year. He’s progressed to another class but we meet each day. He makes it a point to come and hug me every day; and on days when I’m lucky enough, he expresses that he loves me too. On days when he doesn’t say anything, I still feel that love in his hug, I see it in his eyes. Do I need to question him WHY?

Love has many forms. I was chatting with a friend of mine about what love really is? I got a distinctive insight to my question. She said, “When it’s love, you won’t really need to ask this.”

May be that 6 year old girl opposite my window and that child in my class know more of love than I do. Because they; want to live the moment, they; don’t care about people around, they; have no fears of future, they; just want to cherish the moment and its they who have taught me to answer to this question WHY. Why is it so important to say I LOVE YOU to the one you really love? It matters. They matter.

Is it just so simple or does it have another angle to it?

A friend of mine is in love. She tried to express many times but failed, is what she feels. Her previous fears started haunting her when she didn’t get a positive go. Well, she didn’t give up and tried to give him time. May be she is pretty sure of him or maybe she just doesn’t care of consequences. She doesn’t want to be judgmental and just enjoy the moment. May be she wants to fight her fears and knows there’s no harm in hoping. Or simply, just like those two little innocent children, she too feels her love would never go. Well, she tells me she’s accepted him the way he is and also believes in destiny. She panicked when he asked her WHY she loves him. She couldn’t reply back instantly. Purity needs no proof. But does it really work that way or even love needs to be conditioned? She’s waiting for her lucky day too.

The answer is so known… yet unknown… WHY does someone love somebody?

May be people want to create memories and cherish them later. Or here, when he may believe in her, or maybe when he may believe in himself.